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Here We Go, Again
It has only been four months since you left but it seems like forever already. Here we go, again, yes, again. Here we go with the lonely nights and days of feeling blue because we are trying to understand how to cope with missing you. Here we go again with the heartache of watching the kids cry because they had no idea how long it would be when they told you good-bye. Here we go again with the fears of you being gone and the daily prayer that God will please allow you to make it home. Here we go again, yes, again. Here we go again with the random…
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In the Meantime
The last few months have been trying for me. However, through multiple blood tests, a CT- scan, a MRI, an EMG, and physical therapy, God has continued to carry me in my “meantime” moment!
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Hey Mom, You are Appreciated!
Hey mom, yes, you, the one who works 8 hours a day only to spend 4 hours with your kids before going to bed in order to prepare for the next 8 hour work day, you are appreciated! Hey mom, yes, you, the one who stays home with your kids while never getting a moment to clear your head, you are appreciated! Hey mom, yes, you, the one who decided not to immunize, who breast feeds and prefers cloth diapers, you are appreciated! Hey mom, yes, you, the one who decided that formula feeding works best for you and your baby while deciding immunizations and pampers are okay too, you…
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My Heartbeats,Jamiyah and Jamiece
My Girls, My Loves, My Miracles Sent from the Heavens Above I Thank God for choosing me as the vessel for your Life Baby, did you hear their Heartbeat – Yes, I hear Beat One and Beat Two Blessed, Angelic Angels Gifts from God Smiles on our face Joy in our Hearts My psyche would have never envisioned I would have to experience losing you so soon Your Sweet Breaths shortly disappeared from your being Sounds of your Precious Heartbeats has become silent Our Physical Encounter was very brief But I Thank God for every moment we shared From the first day He placed you both in My Womb I…
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Shifting the Atmosphere
Many times, when God is exalting us, he performs a shift in our lives. When a shifting occurs, there is a change in position, an unexpected movement, and often times, the removal and addition of people in our lives. In the process of a shift, we are often confused and have many unanswered questions. People, we assumed would be in our lives forever, unexpectedly leave and the ones we least expect become our primary supporters. During a shift we sometimes lose things that are important to us and become increasingly distraught as it seems as though things are getting worse opposed to better. It is important to remember, that when…
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You are a Privilege, not an Entitlement!
Recently, while having a heartfelt conversation with one of my dear friends, I received a revelation that completely changed my view of relationships. As we were discussing previous and current friendships, my friend said one word that made me realize not only how valuable I am, but also how valuable others are to me. The one word that altered my perspective was the word, “privilege”. The idea of a relationship being a privilege had never crossed my mind. However, I now understand that I am a privilege and not an obligation. In other words, I am a benefit and a special advantage opposed to an ordinary right. Yes, I am…
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False Positive Part II
As I sat in the room waiting on my lab results, I maintained the hope that this time would be different than before. Unfortunately, I was wrong. After I received the lab results, the doctor came in and advised that both of my pregnancy tests were suspected to be “false positives”. Due to my history, we later determined that I suffered a chemical pregnancy, which is often associated with “false positive” pregnancy test. Although there was a fertilized egg, it never completely implanted or for some reason, it could not continue to grow in my uterus, which resulted in an early miscarriage. At the time I received the positive pregnancy…
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False Positive
We could not believe it! Finding out on our daughter’s 2nd birthday that we were expecting again was beyond shocking. The pregnancy tests, I took that afternoon, were both positive. After the birth of our daughter, I was almost sure that I did not desire to biologically have any more children. The fact that I will be turning 40- years- old in a few months, definitely played a major part in that conclusion. My husband, on the other hand, was more open to the idea than I was. We would have the discussion randomly, over the past couple of years, however, until recently it has not been anything that we…
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Enough is Enough!
I am through with it all! I am done! I can’t and I won’t continue to live in this manner. I have decided that enough is enough! The fear that has kept me in captivity for years will no longer have its hold. The enemies of procrastination, consistent tardiness, and complacency no longer have a place in my life. The constant doubt of who I am and confusion concerning my purpose have to go. Why? Because enough is enough! The idea of settling and accepting less than what I desire in my heart, is no longer an option. I refuse to live by the boundaries that have been established around…
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The Beauty of it all
Even in hard situations, most of the time, something beautiful can be found. Beauty comes in many different forms and it is often overlooked. When things happen and God intervenes this is an example of his love and graciousness. When relationships are broken and God provides restoration that is an example of his beauty. Deliverance that comes after years of bondage and addiction is a display of God’s beauty. When financial breakthrough comes after a financial struggle, that is beauty. After waiting years for a heart’s desire that has finally manifested there is no mistaking of God’s beauty. Whenever survival comes after the things that were meant to destroy, kill…
